To smile

Shit happens

2008-01-16

Oh  shit,
Just a few words of wisdom :     
Taoism: Shit happens     
Confucionism: Confucius says: "Shit happens"     
Buddhism: If shit happens, it isn't really shit     
Zen: Whai is the sound of shit happening?     
Hinduism: This shit has happened before     
Islam: If shit happens, it is the will of Allah     
Protestantism: Let the shit happen to someone else     
Catholicism: If shit happens, you deserve it     
Judaism: Why does shit always happen to us?     
Sufism: The wise man never notices shit happening     
Christian Science: If shit happens, pretend it doesn't really exist     
Solipsism: Shit happens because I wish it     
Mysticism: Just experience shit happening     
Asceticism: If shit happens, renounce it     
Agnosticism: Nobody knows why shit happens     
Gnosticism: I know why shit happens but won't tell you     
Atheism: Shit just happens and that's all there is to it     
Cartesianism: Shit happens to me, therefore I exist     
Platonism: There is ideal shit happening somewhere     
Stoicism: I don't care if shit happens     
Epicureanism: Let's party while shit doesn't happen     
Cynicism: Of course shit happens     
Occultism: Shit materializes from other planes of existence     
Terrorism: Shit will happen unless you do as I say     
Pollyanism: It's so nice that shit happens!     
Puritanism: S** can happen all day as long as you don't call it that     
Behaviorism: You are conditioned to having shit happen     
Freudianism: If shit happens, it's your mother's fault     
Parapsychology: Shit happens without material causes     
Surrealism: Purple shit happens near melting clocks     
Cubism: If shit happens, you won't recognize it     
Cultural relativism: Shit happens everywhere differently     
Optimism: If shit happens, we'll find a way to use it     
Pessimism: If shit happens, there won't be enough for everybody     
Tabloid Sensationalism: Green shit from Mars happens to Elvis clone     
Biblical Creationism: Shit happens because God created it     
Secular Humanism: Shit happens because it evolved from primitive shit     
Scientific Reductionism: If shit happens, find out what kind exactly     
Scientific Obscurantism: Amorphous excrement does occur in given cases     
Bureaucracy: I don't care if shit happens as long as you fill out the forms     
Feminism: Women demand to have shit happen     
Ecology: If organic shit happens, it's OK     
Capitalism: Let's profit from shit happening     
Socialism: If shit happens, let's distribute it equally     
Patriotism: Our shit is better than your shit     
Conservatism: They don't make even shit happen like they used to     
Liberalism: Shit shouldn't happen tomorrow     
Classical Physics: Shit does not 'happen', it just moves around     
Quantum Physics #1: Shit happens but you can't say both where and when     
Quantum Physics #2: Shit happens in discrete  quanta called shitons     
Holistic Physics: If shit happens, it happens everywhere at once     
Microcomputing: If shit happens, we'll fix it in the next version     
Computer Science: All shit can in principle happen on a Turing Machine     
Applied Mathematics: The probabity of shit happening approaches unity     
Engineering: When shit happens, paint over     
Medicine: If shit happens, take two Aspirins and call me in the morning     
Economics: Shit happens because there's a geat demand for it     
Politics: If shit happens, make a deal with it     
Diplomacy: Let's pretend shit doesn't happen